Domestic Violence Homicide: Understanding the Warning Signs and Risk Factors

Domestic violence homicide is one of the most tragic and preventable forms of violence in the United States. Every year, intimate partner violence escalates into deadly encounters that leave families shattered and communities searching for answers.  Recent high-profile cases have only highlighted just how devastating – and common – this crime is.

Understanding domestic violence homicide requires recognizing how abuse develops, why survivors and victims may remain in abusive relationships, and what factors increase the likelihood of lethal violence. Public awareness, early intervention, and legal protections all play critical roles in preventing fatalities.

At Blackburn Center, we offer support to survivors and victims of domestic violence and other types of gender-based violence. Our services include a 24-hour hotline for crisis counseling and referrals, an emergency shelter for survivors and victims of intimate partner violence and their dependent children, counseling and therapy, support groups, support during emergency room visits and legal proceedings specific to type of victimization, community education programs, student awareness programs, and in-service trainings for professionals.  If your life has been affected by violence, you can reach us anytime at 1-888-832-2272 (TDD available).

What Is Domestic Violence Homicide?

Domestic violence homicide occurs when one family member, spouse, dating partner, former partner, or household member kills another person during or because of domestic abuse. In many instances, homicide follows months or years of escalating control, threats, and violence, rather than occurring as an isolated event.

Violence can affect individuals across many types of relationships, including:

• Current or former spouses

• Dating partners

• Children

• Other family members

• Household members

• Individuals attempting to intervene in abuse situations

  
  

Although women are disproportionately the survivors or victims of intimate partner homicide, domestic violence affects individuals from all communities, without discrimination across all genders, ages, and socioeconomic backgrounds.

The Cycle of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence rarely begins with extreme violence. Instead, abusive relationships often follow a repeating cycle of violence that escalates over time.

1. Tension-Building Phase: The abuser may become increasingly controlling, angry, jealous, or verbally aggressive. Survivors and victims often try to avoid conflict or “keep the peace.”

2. Incident of Abuse: The abuse escalates into physical violence, threats, intimidation, sexual assault, or severe emotional abuse.

3. Reconciliation or “Honeymoon” Phase: The abuser may apologize, promise to change, or express remorse. Gifts, affection, and temporary calm can make survivors and victims hopeful that the violence will stop.

4. Calm Phase: For a period, the relationship may appear stable before tension begins building again.

Over time, the cycle typically becomes more dangerous. Violent incidents may occur more frequently and become increasingly severe.

Warning Signs of Potential Domestic Violence Homicide

Certain behaviors and circumstances are strongly associated with a higher risk of lethal violence.

• Escalating Physical Violence: Increasingly severe abuse is a major warning sign. A history of choking, strangulation, or threats with weapons significantly raises homicide risk.

• Threats to Kill: Abusers who threaten to kill their partner, children, pets, or themselves should always be taken seriously.

• Access to Firearms: The presence of firearms in abusive households dramatically increases the likelihood of homicide.

• Extreme Jealousy or Possessiveness: Obsessive monitoring, accusations of cheating, stalking, and attempts to isolate the survivor/victim can signal escalating danger.

• Separation or Attempting to Leave: One of the most dangerous periods in an abusive relationship is when the survivor/victim attempts to leave. Many domestic violence homicides occur shortly after separation.

• Stalking Behavior: Repeated unwanted contact, surveillance, following the survivor/victim, or cyberstalking are significant indicators of potential lethal violence.

• Prior Violations of Protective Orders: Ignoring restraining orders or court orders demonstrates a willingness to disregard legal boundaries.

• Abuse During Pregnancy: Violence during pregnancy is another serious risk factor associated with escalating abuse

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Concerns: Drug or alcohol abuse may increase unpredictability and violence, though substance use alone does not cause domestic abuse.

If you notice these signs of escalating violence, don’t hesitate to call. Our hotline is available 24 hours a day: 1-888-832-2272 (TDD available).

Why Victims May Stay in Abusive Relationships

Many people ask why survivors and victims do not simply leave abusive relationships. The reality is far more complicated than just leaving.

Survivors and victims may stay because of:

• Fear of retaliation or death

• Financial dependence

• Emotional attachment

• Concern for children

• Lack of safe housing

• Cultural or religious pressures

• Shame or embarrassment

• Immigration concerns

• Isolation from support systems

• Previous failed attempts to leave

Leaving an abusive relationship often requires careful planning and support. In many cases, the danger increases once the abuser realizes they are losing control. Data shows that one of the most dangerous times in a survivor’s/victim’s life is when they leave an abusive relationship.

When it comes to domestic violence, we believe the better question is not why a person stays, but why the abuser chooses to abuse. Reframing the question puts the focus on the person who is committing the abuse, instead of blaming the survivor/victim.

Protective Orders and Safety Planning

Protective orders, referred to as Protection from Abuse (PFA) Orders in Pennsylvania, can help create legal boundaries between survivors/victims and abusers.

Protective orders may:

• Prohibit contact

• Remove the abuser from the home

• Restrict firearm possession

• Establish temporary custody arrangements

• Require the abuser to stay away from workplaces or schools

Although protective orders can be valuable tools, they are not guarantees of safety. A PFA is not always the most effective or safest option.

Our team can help individuals weigh their options when it comes to PFA. We can also work with you to develop detailed safety plans. Safety planning may include:

• Identifying safe places to go

• Preparing emergency contacts

• Saving important documents

• Creating a code word with trusted friends or family

• Keeping emergency money accessible

• Documenting abusive behavior

• Planning escape routes

We can work with you to help you to develop a safety plan that reflects your unique circumstances and is tailored to meet your specific needs.

The Importance of Taking Threats Seriously

One of the most important lessons surrounding domestic violence homicide is that threats and warning signs should never be minimized. Certain statements may indicate genuine danger, such as:

• “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

·      “You’ll never leave me.”

• “I’ll kill you if you leave.”

Stalking, strangulation, escalating violence, and obsessive control behaviors are all significant risk indicators that require immediate attention. Family members and friends should avoid dismissing abusive behavior as “relationship problems” or assuming situations will improve on their own. If you are in this situation or know someone who is, reach out to us at 1-888-832-2272 to talk to a trained crisis counselor.

How Blackburn Center Can Help Survivors and Victims of Domestic Violence

At Blackburn Center, we understand that leaving an abusive relationship can feel overwhelming and scary. People involved in abusive relationships often face emotional trauma, financial uncertainty, fear for their safety, and concerns about protecting their children and loved ones. No one should have to navigate these challenges alone.

Blackburn Center provides compassionate support, advocacy, and resources for individuals and families affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, and other forms of crime. Our trained advocates work closely with survivors and victims to help them understand their options, develop personalized safety plans, and connect with critical services.

Our goal is to empower survivors and victims, promote safety, and help individuals begin rebuilding their lives in a secure and supportive environment.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we are here for you. Call us anytime at 1-888-832-2272 (TDD available). Calls to our hotline are always free of charge and can be anonymous.